Travel from hell

So I have plenty of things to catch up with on my blog, but I had to share this story before I forgot it all.

Have you ever had one of “those” days?

Because I have. And I just did.

After going home to be with family for the funeral, it was time to head home. My Southwest flight from BWI to Buffalo was scheduled for 1235. Well, of course, we didn’t leave the house until 1130am. Which is obviously way later than you should leave for getting to the airport.

But eventually, we get there, and I go to the machine to get my boarding pass. It wont print a boarding pass, but prints a security pass that says I get my pass at the gate. I don’t see an express line, since I have Southwests’ equivalent of 1st class, so I go wait in the LOOOOONG line; at this point, my plane will start boarding in 7 minutes, and will leave in 30 and I know it’ll take at least that long to get through security.

After a few minutes, I notice people getting out of the long line and getting into a short line, where I see a sign for business class. Yay! Get right on through security and rush down to the gate with nearly 30 minutes to spare. I wait in line for the desk, which takes forever. I finally get up there and show my “security pass”.

“Uhm, we don’t have a seat for you.”

For the first time today, my heart falls into my stomach. I’m sorry, I explain, I have a 1st class seat, I paid extra to get through the line faster, to board first, and yet, you don’t have a seat for me?

I stand there for a good 10 minutes while they help other people and try to figure out how to get me on the plane, and the lady keeps saying, “We don’t have a seat for you.”

I don’t know whether to cry or start demanding, to pull out my inner Heather ;)

Finally, they agree amongst themselves to find someone to give up their seat, and they start making announcements. Over and over and over, but no one will come forward. The blue tags have boarded, the As have boarded, and they are boarding families. My higher priced ticket was supposed to get me on before everyone except the blue tag people, but I still don’t have a seat!

Finally, about 4 people come to my rescue, and I am escorted directly onto the plane. Get on the plane, order my alchy drink (which comes with a business class ticket) and start relaxing. When they realize that they not only have an extra seat, but they have several. So the man who had given up his seat gets on, and 2 standbys also get on, as well as someone else who had been “lost” like myself.

Plane takes off, flight is decent, and then we land.

Walk out to the bus waiting area, and it’s HOT. Absolutely HOT and HUMID.

But it’s only 20 minutes til the bus arrives, or so we think. Nearly 50 minutes later, the bus finally arrives. And then we leave even way later than that.

Eventually we get to the border. We all have to get off, with our bags, and go through immigration. I try to be first off so I can be first back on (yea, I’m that person). Get through the first booth nice and fast. Get brought to another room that has the actual officers who approve me to go through.

I get called up to a counter with a girl who looks like me, 25-30 in age, young, cute… But all of the officers are wearing bullet proof vests, lots of scary looking things on their belts… I get the nice looking young girl. Phew.

I hand over my passport, and then my Disney employment letter. Then the drilling starts. It was a game of 20 Questions, but with about 50 questions, not 20. She was by the book, and took the time to slowly read each and every line on my Disney letter. Seriously, I would say a good 10-15 minutes pass by during this. Maybe longer.

She walks away for a minutes, then comes back and then starts rereading the letter, asking questions along the way (all of which are answered in the letter that she is so clearly reading, and that she had already asked before), and then asks me all kinds of questions including my height, weight, eye color, hair color, etc.

And finally, after at least 20 minutes, maybe longer, of standing there, she approves me and says she’s going to get my work visa (apparently, I should have been issued one when I came in the first time, but often, the airport doesn’t issue them). Whatever.

She walks away, and another eternity passes before she returns with a gentleman, who then start whispering to each other and pointing at the screen on her computer. Then she walks away, leaving the officer to work on my computer. A good 5 minutes later, I notice she’s moved to another desk on the other side of the office.

A couple more male officers walk over to “my” computer, whispering and pointing to the screen, where, as far as I know, the screen holds details of my passport and work visa. The female officer is now assisting new customers at the other desk. I look out of the window, and don’t see my bus.

I keep waiting, when a few more officers walk up, and they are all pointing at the screen and whispering. Soon enough, there are at least 10 officers, very large males with bullet proof vests and full officer belt, surrounding my computer, pointing and whispering.

Time just makes no sense to me now, and I am growing extremely worried. Ok, lets be honest. I was terrified!

I could hear words like “deny” and “visa” and “illegal” and such… pointing at the screen where my passport and visa are supposed to be displayed.

Soon, they start not being very quiet, and are using phrases like “crossing the border illegally” and “should we approve this” and “I’ve never experienced this before in my 20yrs of service.”

Sweating bullets. I thought that was just a clever saying, but I am officially sweating bullets now. No one is talking to me, I’ve been in the room for well over 30 minutes, maybe close to 45, I only see 2 other people from my bus ever enter this room but they are both long gone, and I can’t see the bus from the windows anymore.

So now, of course, I’m about to faint.

This large group of officers are surrounding me, no one is talking to me, I have no idea what’s going on, I think the bus has left without me, and everyone is surrounding the computer with my immigration profile.

Suddenly, in a fashion completely not like me, I muster up the courage to ask “What is going on?????” Ok, it wasn’t so nice, and was really pretty aggravated.

They all turn to look at me. Now all of these large gentleman are staring me down. In their bulletproof vests. And the bus is gone. And I’m in Canada so my cell phone doesn’t work.

I’m absolutely terrified. Terrified. No one responds. They continue to stare me down.

Until another officer says, “I think she thinks all of this is about her.”

“Uh yea, I’ve been standing here over 30 minutes!”

The officer kinda chuckles, and I hear the language change from secretive to:

“Wow, I’ve never had someone from the FBIs Most Wanted List try to cross the border during my 20 years of service.”

WHAT??????

Haha My jaw must have dropped, or I must not have had any color in my face, because then one of the officers said, “hey, don’t worry, your visa’s being printed, the printer at this desk was broken.”

Oh. My. God.

Apparently, while my officer walked to another computer to print my documents, someone from the FBIs list tried to cross the border, and since my officer walked away from her computer, they absconded her computer to investigate the situation.

She finally comes back with my visa. I grab my stuff, and literally RUN out of the office. One of the intimidating officers had walked outside and pointed out where my bus was, and I just ran onto the bus, didn’t look back.

Yes, I had held up the bus. A couple of people were chuckling. They all knew I was first in line, but last to get on the bus.

And then we made it into town. We arrived at the bus depot around 720pm, we were supposed to have arrived 2 hrs earlier. Oh well. At least I made it.

AND I made a new friend on the bus, a young gentleman from Baltimore who is moving back to Toronto, and we’ve visited a lot of the same places around the world, etc. Yay for new friends.

And most importantly, yay for this travel day from hell being over.